The Rehearsal

Thanksgiving has a way of gathering everyone into one room. For some of us, that's joy. For some of us, it's a little harder than that - two families with two sets of traditions, boundaries getting negotiated over the gravy. And for some of us, the room is quieter than it used to be. A chair that stays empty, missing that person we'd give anything to argue with one more time.

All of that is allowed to be true at the same table.

Thanksgiving is the one gathering that’s built entirely around gratitude, so here's the version I keep coming back to this year. Underneath all the noise, the planning, the opinions, the expectations, there's a voice in each of us that knows exactly what matters most. This week, I'd love for you to listen to that voice - not the loudest in the room - yours.

I’ve done hundreds of rehearsals, and here's what every rehearsal reminds me: The wedding day is polished. Everyone's dressed up, performing, holding themselves together for the photos and the guests. Beautiful, yes. But the rehearsal is where I meet the real couple. Nervous, excited, fumbling the walk, laughing at the wrong moment, figuring it out in front of the handful of people who matter most. No audience to impress. Just them.

Why I love wedding rehearsals.

And the tears at a rehearsal are the real ones. Wet, unguarded, falling before anyone thinks to stop them, and then come the hugs and the laughing. At the wedding, people spend the whole day holding those same tears back. But the rehearsal doesn't ask anyone to perform. That unguarded version is the real essence of the whole thing.

And that's the version of them that I carry into their ceremony. Not the dolled-up one. The honest one.

The rehearsal teaches the whole essence of marriage and their future: It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to make a mistake and try again. It's okay to lean on your person when you're not sure what you're doing. That's not a flaw in the marriage. That IS the marriage.

So this Thanksgiving, whatever your table looks like this year, full or quiet or complicated, I'm grateful you're here. And I'd love for you to give yourself the same grace I watch couples find at a rehearsal. Be yourself. Fumble if you fumble. Try again. Lean on the people who matter. Share the love - share this message.

That's the real version, and the honest version is the one I'm so thankful for.

Wishing you a joy filled Thanksgiving.

With love,

Rev. Nikki 💕